BHAWNA ATMARAM
While millions of dignified men and women are continuously striving to make the world a better place for all, the same cannot be said for the other millions. Be it in the form of subtle or unsubtle personal attacks, body-shaming or other scathing remarks, many women seem to be on the receiving end of a daily barrage of criticism. Even the tiny island of Mauritius has not been spared from the huge waves of prejudices and stereotypes which have enslaved mindsets for decades. The holy mantra ‘Mind your own business’ would have been very handy but sadly, people seem to turn a deaf ear to good advice.
English poet Robert Southey (1774-1843) has originally described the ‘sweet’ temperament associated with women in his poem:
‘What are young women made of
Sugar and spice and all things nice’
This poem has been popularised by the Mother Goose nursery rhyme collections, where it is erroneously assumed that girls are and should be placid in nature. The ideal of female subservience in numerous cultures globally has led to women putting up with multiple forms of emotional abuse till breaking point. So, which forms of female-shaming are the most notorious in Mauritius? Let’s have a look at the topmost blistering sugary compote of scorn endured by women on a day-to-day basis. 
Ayo! You’ve put on weight!
Fat-shaming is one extremely popular greeting here. ‘Ayo! Get kouma tonn vinn gro!’ That sour greeting after weeks or months of absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Rather, it makes one yearn for that despicable visitor to disappear in a puff of smoke! That evil aunty, the unconfident uncle, the envious cousin…it is mostly the miserable people who repeatedly have issues with others.
Bullying regarding weight issues has an early start, from the innocent pre-primary school phase. If left unchecked, that pattern of bullying cruises on till one’s grave. Children pick up what they learn from their home or immediate surroundings and replicate the same attitudes elsewhere. Definitely, this sheds light on the inconsiderate adults who are not doing that great of a parenting job. Anyway, whether you are young or old, whether you have underlying health issues, are dealing with menstrual pain and bloating, trauma and stress or fighting whatever personal battle to keep barely alive is of NO significance to the people with the venomous tongues and equally vitriolic words. They revel in your discomfort as they look at your plumpness with pity and disdain.
Well, in that case, the bullies should be given a dose of their own medicine. Diplomacy usually works to a certain extent only. Bullies should be frontally confronted and told that your voluptuous curves are your unique artwork to admire. Should they take exception to your fabulous flabs, maybe they should try growing their own!
Dear, what dark skin you have!
We might live in a tropical country, with an amazing blend of sun, sand and sea but for the bored busybodies out there, being dark-skinned is still frowned upon. That is a tragic remnant of our former colonial days, wherefrom that psychological inferior complex has been forged and passed on till the upcoming generations. Bleaching products are flying off the shelves while ‘Fair and Lovely’ face cream is still dominating the cosmetics domain. In the process, insecurity builds up within the impressionable young girl, who grows up with the wrong notions of beauty standards. These misconceptions are further cemented by the archetypical heroines with mostly fair skin, especially those playing main roles on both the big and small screens in Asia, for instance. There is a huge disparity in representation between those with dark and fair skin complexion.
Who made up the unspoken rules that one must be fair in order to be lovely? When will this madness stop? What is required is a profound shift in our ethos. We are islanders. We come from different parts of the world. We constitute an extraordinary mixture of different skin tones. Let us make the most of the blessings of the natural elements of our country. Now, who is ready to dip into the inviting lagoon and get a nice tan?
Unmarried? No children yet? Slut-shaming?
Another BIG question that keeps gossipmongers busy is why some women choose to be single. That epic question is a source of humongous preoccupation. The blank marital status of others keeps them from breathing, sleeping, eating, drinking, showering or going to the toilet normally. Whenever they come across the next unsuspecting victim, that same look of unwarranted commiseration swells up in their system till they are compelled to rant about the short span of the female biological clock ticking away. Their fake despair is crystal clear as they lament on your supposed selfishness of not getting married or of being immoral. In China, unmarried women past a certain age are called ‘leftover women’, pejoratively alluding to the stigma of being single. In other cultures, being single automatically disqualifies one from actively participating in cultural and religious celebrations. Still, countless women are mercilessly slut-shamed because of their dating preferences. A quick glance at social media applications can reveal the extent to which women are subjected to intense humiliation and revenge porn.
On another note, interestingly and that might be news for some: Women are not automatic baby-making machines. Life is not a modern ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’. Regrettably, narrow-minded beings do not waste any opportunity in digging their claws into those women who are childless, whether by choice or not. Scandalmongers will only stir up trouble, whether you are inwardly struggling with infertility, endometriosis or other biological issues that you know of.
It is high time to put an end to these attacks. Just make sure to tell these meddlers to stop interfering in your affairs. It takes one moment, direct eye-contact and a firm ‘Enough!’
And then what?
At the end of the day, irrespective of your shape and size or marital status, there will be people who will keep projecting their insecurities upon you. Remember, you have the choice and strength to cast these insecurities away, protect your personal space and live life on your own terms. What eludes interlopers is the question of HAVING A CHOICE. Happiness and fulfilment are subjective; they mean different things to different people. Your happiness is yours to build and treasure.
