ASH PHOENIX
The topic of today’s article is guilt – the second shadow that we should release when walking in the circles of the Vortex de Riambel. Its opposite, or what I call the embrace of light, is creation and creativity. I have a peculiar relationship with the notion of guilt and I can only assume that many of my readers will feel the same. Often, I feel guilty towards 
my son that I cannot provide him the picture book family of father, mother and child, which he deserves to have. We are outside the norm and he often expresses that all he wants is to feel ‘normal’, like everybody else in his school. In other instances, it is simply the guilt that we as parents have when we say no to our children for things they desire. Sometimes, there can also be guilt to say yes too often.
Guilt is an ambiguous feeling. One may not automatically attribute guilt to the shadow side of our human existence. Some people do not feel guilty at all although they harm others physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. They betray, blackmail, trick, steal, cheat or abuse others without having even the slightest remorse. I would insist that this lack of guilt is not necessarily a good position to be in. Not only for those who are on the receiving end of those bad deeds, but also for those who are not able to feel guilt at all, as they have chosen the evil side.
In my fiction novel, the Capricorn is an example of a powerful éminence grise, the embodiment of absolute evil, with not even a flicker of light inside him. Someone who has chosen the shadow side to feed his thirst for absolute control. Someone who masks himself as good but whose actions only have the aim to create fear, despair and hatred among the animals of the Tiny Island. Someone who enjoys the pain and suffering of others to feed his own darkness. In Star Wars, Darth Sidious, also known as Emperor Palpatine, is another example of someone who ultimately dedicates his whole existence to absolute evil. We should remind ourselves, however, that people are usually not born this way. They may have inherited some character traits that make them vulnerable to the dark side, but it is ultimately us, as parents, teachers and caretakers, who have responsibility to guide them in the right direction with faith, hope and lots of love.
On the other hand, feeling too much guilt for everything said and done can also lead into the shadows. It lets us feel stuck without the possibility of moving forward, developing our personality and growing. Hence, the feeling of guilt is indeed a two-sided sword. Maybe one can formulate it as follows: the feeling of guilt makes us human in the first place but only overcoming that feeling by creating something or someone new, lets us grow as humans.
How do we overcome guilt in the first place? I think that we need compassion – with others but also with ourselves. We need to accept that we cannot always achieve the optimal outcome of living a picture-book or even ordinary life. Life – for most of us – is extraordinary at some point in time. Some people, by choice or by fate, live lives that deviate significantly from those of the majority. Sometimes, we do not only have to accept our circumstances, but we should embrace them, as they may let us achieve the extraordinary. Some of the most beautiful paintings, sculptures, music, novels and poems have been created by humans under adversity. In my first article in the Forum page of Le Mauricien which is called On Writing, I insisted that good writers are rarely thoroughly happy people. Creativity is fuelled by death, hardship, disruption, drama and other ups and downs in life that shape us as humans and let us transform our pain into creative endeavours. If we are complacent or too content, not only our bodies but also our minds become lazy. Personal growth comes from facing and overcoming personal challenges. Contentment lets us enjoy life but does not allow an author to write well about the drama called life.
Ultimately, however, we have to leave the drama in the past – without feeling guilty – in order to embrace our present and future. I believe that guilt can keep us stuck. Hence, creation or creativity is indeed the light side of guilt as it lets us create something new and beautiful. That is why I would like to ask my readers: do not look back to the past, do not question what could have been or would have been. Embrace your life – however hard and difficult it may be at this very moment. Try to feel the light inside your soul even if you do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Do not compare your possibly burdensome life with that of others who seem to have it easier than you. Challenges can be inspiring and they can lead to personal growth. I would like to close this article with a poem that I published in my first fiction novel.
HAPPINESS
Only if you climb seven mountains of pain,
Cross seven valleys of sorrow,
Reach seven crossroads of despair,
Swim through seven lakes of sadness
Will the blindfold covering your eyes come off.
On that special day
Your heart will open up to receive,
And you will reach the meadows of happiness.
Looking back to the past
You will discover
That happiness was there all the time
As it was in
YOU.
The Chronicles of the Tiny Island is available at Bookcourt, Mauritius, and as an e-book on Amazon, https://www.amazon.com/Chronicles-Tiny-Island-book-ebook/dp/B0977KHTY5/.
You can visit Ash’s website www.ash-phoenix.com and her blog https://ash-phoenix.org to discover her work.