MARTINE MOUTOU

“It’s ok not to be ok”. I have seen this phrase on social media as a compassionate gesture towards those who might be feeling lost in a derailed world of their own. “Practice what you preach” is a Barry White song which defines most humans who are quick to talk without actually walking the talk.

Humans are made of flesh and blood, yet are all different. We all mess up, it is a fact. We all make mistakes but we are NO mistakes. We all have a background, especially one that will shape up our respective personality, unknown to ourselves. Psychology is major and should be a core factor of education since childhood in order to understand thought and behavioral patterns.

I am a holder of a heavy past attached with consequences I am still enduring as an adult, with some traits recognized in some of my attitudes and behavior. Life throws its best shots at you and without sound advice, sincere care and a deeper vision, some if not most people get sucked into depression. So many people find themselves locked in a dark cage but smile, doing their best, day in and day out, trying to set their toes a tiny bit further. I do my best to spare judgment but I admit that my heart aches before such lack of sincere interest in others, especially here in Mauritius.

A true friend will find the why behind the how. A true human with a pumping heart will seek knowledge before breathing out any type of judgment. How many people apologize? How many are truly concerned about the ones he or she states to love? How many are accountable for their mistakes? How many are courageous enough to introspect? Yet everyone throws fiery darts, pointing fingers, dirtying reputations.

Judging and criticizing are part of human’s DNA, fact! The body is made of fat and muscles, the one fed the most is going to take over. Same as for judgment and criticism, we have the ability to interrupt the thought and opt for a truly compassionate and merciful one. Superficiality won the game. Mostly everything, nowadays, turns around sex, money, selfish and self-centered desires. True life, which revolves around the inner life (soul, spirit, heart), love, sincerity, deep understanding and care, has become adrift. Most people complain about hypocrisy but do not make any effort to be genuine and honest out of fear of being rejected. Most are scared by the thought of hearing any kind of truth because any truth could hurt but in reality, sets free. There are so many campaigns happening around the world but the first campaign should be on our minds and hearts!

Hearts have grown cold out of unaccountable problems. It was and is our very own responsibility not to allow our very own heart to choose bitterness to eat it up and to blind us up to such an extent that we miss seeing what matters most; Love and values. We can choose to let go of some people or things which we think will lead us to unnecessary pain, but that does not give us permission to judge or criticize.

A tired soul will find itself roaming on depression island. To confide about one’s misery has become a threat, a threat to going deeper into depression, because people use one’s personal stories and secrets for gossiping and judgmental purposes. Depression does not mean crazy or unstable but just being tired of fighting against constant turbulent winds or/and thoughts. Depression does not disqualify us as humans, but testifies of a longing for a better situation which seems unreachable. Emotional burn out!

Science offers different explanations to several types of depression. I personally reckon that the two main factors enhancing depression are thoughts and a lack of humanity. I am a living witness to the fact that a victim mentality won’t get anyone anywhere. Thoughts are attached to emotions. The mind needs an ongoing renewal with positive and uplifting thoughts, otherwise, we get pulled down into a harsh cycle of depression. I draw my strength from God because only Him can bring emotional healing but also, I realized it’s all about decision making. Either one gets passive and lukewarm, or one decides to take whatever hope and strength left to pull through, creating a life of one’s own; “turning the impossible into an I’m possible”[Sparsh Shah].

I had personally wanted to give up so many times, thus tasted depression, but I have learnt and still learning, that neither my life nor I are a failure just because of circumstances. I am continuously learning and reminding myself that I can turn the fails into success, on my own terms. It’s definitely hard for those on the receiving end to deal with anyone’s (constant) distress, but LOVE, in every sense of the word, duly applied, would help revive tired souls. The environment in which one evolves will either help or destroy, yet one has the final say for the proper unravelling of one’s life. Personal choice too, is of utter importance for recovery. Emotional support is important but learning to be one’s own edifier is the main key to release inner happiness. Be your best friend and help yourself.

Please, before posting anything on social media, let’s ask ourselves if we will be willing to KNOW, truly and deeply KNOW about depression and if we would be willing to help accordingly, letting go of judgmental and critical attitudes.