“Maman, maman, tu remplis nos cœurs de bonheur! Quand on a du chagrin, tu es là pour nous reconforter. Maman, maman, tu remplis nos cœurs de bonheur.”
I bet you still remember that ad. I still sing this song for my Maman, every so often, and of course, on Mother’s Day.
Don’t believe the advertising industry. They’d have you think your mum wants a new washing machine, a phone, or a new set of mugs or pans for Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day was never intended to be a source of commercial profit. Anna Jarvis, who, in the early 1900s, advocated for a day to be recognised as Mother’s Day, meant for it to be a celebration of motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society. “Live this day as your mother would have you live it,” Jarvis wrote in her letters, celebrating “the best mother who ever lived — your own.”
Money talks and Mother’s Day became yet another way to make money for companies. Indeed, on the last Sunday of May, many of us will pay tribute to mother figures in our lives, having purchased a pre-written card with an eloquent quote, some chocolates, maybe an electrical appliance for the house reinforcing traditional norms. Some ‘lucky’ mamans might snag a breakfast in bed, for that one day a year. Others might show up at their mother’s house and expect a nice home-cooked meal in exchange of a present. Putting a price on love, supporting the candy, floral, and greeting card industries and capitalism instead of actually supporting our own Mother.
A 2020 UN Women report, shows that working Mauritian women devote almost three times more of their day to household and childcare activities – 4.6 hours versus 1.2 hours for men. Ask any working mum what she wants for Mother’s Day. She doesn’t care about morning tea, she wants equality. Instead of the clichés presents, what she really wants is equal pay for the same work, a fairer share of the household workload, a partner who equally supports her in child-rearing. She couldn’t care less about the cupcakes or napolitaines, she wants respect.
This year, for Mother’s Day, instead of platitudes, let’s show some gratitude for all the Mamans out there and let’s be their advocates. Make the time to properly check-in with any mother figures or sisters around you. Are they safe, healthy, well and thriving?
Here’s a few ideas for meaningful gifts for Mum, with much more impact.
- Physical wellbeing – Pay for a pap smear or general checkup at the doctor’s. Take them to the appointment and share a pâtisserie after. What about a massage, a facial, an overnight stay so they get a physical break from the daily drudgery?
- Emotional wellbeing – Watch the sun rise at the beach and ask about her favourite memories about her own mum. Swap secrets – who was her first crush?
- Financial wellbeing – money often underpins various aspects of wellbeing in our lives. This Mother’s Day could be the first time where anou koz kas ar nou mama. Make a conscious decision to talk about finances. What money worries does she have? Does she have a debt repayment strategy? Should she be pushing for a promotion? Has she got the right life insurance in place? Most importantly, how can you help?
Whilst a teenager might not be able to contribute financially, they can share household tasks to free up their mother’s time to focus on her wellbeing, career or hobbies. A husband might no longer be very present in their own mother’s life but can speak up for any misogynist behaviours whenever they see them and model a fair and equal partnership at home.
If you are unsure where to start re money conversations, here’s a few pointers:
- Mami, have you heard of the pink tax? It’s when the same product, essentially marketed by gender, for example a shampoo for women with the exact same ingredients as the male version, costs more when it’s in a pink bottle. Next time we go to the supermarket, let’s check price per gram, price per unit, price per pack together.
- You’re the one who sees most where the money goes in our household. Maman, can we talk about budgeting together?
- Pati, what are the money lessons you learnt as a child?
- Chachi, did you know that more than half of university graduates in Mauritius are female? However, the percentage of women in the workforce is 57% versus male participation at 88%. Why do you think that is?
- Mawsi, only 23% of managers are females in Mauritius. What needs to happen to change that?
- Whilst Mauritius has laws enshrining equal pay for equal work, in the private sector, for every rupee a man makes, a woman gets paid an average of 70 cents. Tantinn, what is it like in your workplace?
- Ate, did you know that every time we get paid, there’s a compulsory contribution for our retirement? Why don’t we look through the paperwork together to ensure you have enough for all the comfort you need at all stages of life.
Why not encourage them to sign them up for my complimentary Anou Koz Kas bootcamp or email anoukozkass@gmail.com for any money questions?
A mother’s worth is not sacrificing herself to her own detriment and to the benefit of all others. Instead of being praised for their selflessness and martyrdom, mothers & mother figures are to be celebrated not just on Mother’s Day but every day.
If there’s one thing that unites all of us, is that the fundamental reason we are here today, is because our individual mums gifted us this life. Make sure yours feels seen, loved, valued and respected. Happy Mother’s Day!
Disclaimer – Information in this column is general in nature and does not take into consideration your personal financial situation. It is for educational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. Before making financial decisions, consider seeking independent financial advice tailored to your individual needs.
