Introduction- Planet Earth is on the Grill
The alarming run of exceptional temperatures persisted throughout 2025, a year now on track to become the second or third warmest ever recorded, according to the latest State of the Global Climate Update from the World Meteorological Organization (WMO).
A handful of large economies — China, the U.S., India, Russia, etc….continue to dominate global carbon emissions and thus carry disproportionate responsibility.
For 2025, global fossil CO2 emissions are projected to rise by about 1.1%, driven by increases in the US and EU, while China and India see slower growth. China remains the largest emitter (around 32%), followed by the US (13%) and India (8%).
Every December, Father Christmas dusts off his naughty-and-nice list, polishes his sleigh, and prepares for his annual voyage. But this year, as he stepped outside his workshop at the North Pole, his boots sank into a small pool of water . “Ah, splendid,” he muttered. “Another gift from world leaders.” As the ice beneath Santa’s home melts faster than an ice cream in Dubai, he has decided that delivering toys to children around the world is no longer enough.
No, this year Santa Claus decided to deliver truth bombs, wrapped in sarcasm and tied with a ribbon of sheer exasperation to the four leaders with countries topping the list for carbon emissions.
After all, if anyone has the right to complain about climate mismanagement, it’s the man whose entire workshop is about to become beachfront property like what we have here in Mauritius thanks to the carbon adventures of Trump, Putin, Xi, Modi and many other leaders.
So get ready: Santa’s sleigh is packed with some rather interesting gifts for these leaders, and he’s on his way. His journey begins in China, then he’ll swoop westward to the United States, glide down to India, and finally head north to Moscow to deliver President Putin’s special present.
Visiting China with a specific gift for Xi .. Ji
The world’s biggest CO2 emitter remains China. In 2024, China accounted for roughly 13 300 Mt CO2 (32 %- about one third of global emissions).
Santa has mixed feelings when flying over China: on one side, solar panels stretching further than the eye can see; on the other, coal plants puffing away like industrial chimneys seen in movies. China promises carbon neutrality by 2060 while building enough coal infrastructure to power Santa’s sleigh to Mars and back. So Santa leaves Xi a speaking carbon calculator that keeps saying “Try Again” programmed to reject every number until emissions actually go down.
And for the Chinese population?
Santa slips under the Great Firewall to deliver a very special gift: a box of “transparent air” and a lifetime subscription to “unfiltered data.” Inside are clearer skies, real-time pollution readings, and the freedom to demand climate accountability without needing to decode official slogans.
Because while Xi receives a giant calculator to keep tally of emissions, the Chinese people get what they truly deserve: the clarity to see them — and the power to breathe better.
A gentle reminder that global climate leadership takes more than good slogans and five-year plans.
Donald Trump gets a solar-powered mirror to admire himself while ignoring climate science as gift
The U.S. is contributing to a global rise in fossil fuel CO2 in 2025 ( 13%), moving away from recent declines, primarily due to increased fossil fuel reliance for energy needs and Trump’s denial. So after China, Santa Claus went straight to the US.
Ho ho ho, here we go again! Father Christmas sighs deeply every time he flies over Mar-a-Lago and sees climate denial wrapped in gold plating. Trump still treats climate change as a bad business deal rather than the existential crisis it is, preferring to resurrect coal and oil like ghostly relics of Christmas Past. So this year, Santa decided to drop off a “solar-powered, gold-framed mirror”. Why? Because it’s the only renewable energy device he might willingly use, especially if it reflects only him and conveniently not the rising seas swallowing Miami.
And what did Santa bring to the American people?
Santa drops down American chimneys a lot of gifts starting with a “Climate Reality Starter Pack”- Santa offers Americans a “pair of noise-cancelling earmuffs to block out the endless political noise” drowning out climate science and a solar-powered flashlight to illuminate the truth during political blackouts, and, just in case, a fire-proof stocking for the next wildfire season. He also tosses in a universal voter registration card, because nothing fights climate chaos like citizens who can actually outvote the fossil-fuel lobby.
Merry Climate Action, America!
Narendra Modi gets a “Magic Air Purifier” big enough to cover the entire subcontinent
In 2025, India is expected to account for roughly 8% of global fossil-fuel CO2 emissions, making it the world’s third-largest emitter after China and the United States. Santa sails across the Atlantic, soars over North Africa, and glides across the arid landscapes of the Middle East to reach India, bearing a very special gift for Modi Ji
Father Christmas nearly chokes every time he reaches Delhi, the smog is so thick he has to switch to instrument landing. Modi presents India as a climate champion on the world stage while simultaneously accelerating coal production to meet domestic demand. Solar expansion is impressive, yes, but it’s outpaced by rising emissions and skyrocketing pollution levels. So Santa brings Modi an “enchanted mega-sized air purifier”, capable of cleaning the skies of every Indian city because clearly the current policies won’t do it anytime soon.
And what did Santa bring
to the Indian people?
Santa Claus brings to the Indian population a bundle of practical climate gifts: affordable solar panels, energy-efficient cookstoves, rainwater harvesting kits, and a dash of magic to help communities adapt to heatwaves and flooding along with a gentle nudge for leaders to turn climate promises into real action.
Vladimir Putin gets a “Deluxe Inflatable Arctic”,
because he is melting the real one
As of late 2025, Russia’s share of global greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions is estimated to be approximately 4%. Russia is consistently ranked as the world’s fourth-largest emitter of GHG.
As Father Christmas navigates the shrinking Arctic, formerly his peaceful workplace, he can’t help but notice whose fingerprints are all over the thaw: Russia’s aggressive oil expansion, Arctic drilling, and methane-leaking gas fields. Putin often boasts about new sea routes opening thanks to climate change, as if Santa should send him a thank-you note for destroying the ice. So Santa’s gift is a high-end “inflatable Arctic ice sheet” easy to install, impossible to melt, and perfect for leaders who want the benefits of a cold North without the responsibility of protecting it.
And what did Santa bring
to the Russian people?
Santa Claus brings the Russian people a sturdy set of thermal insulation kits, energy-efficient heaters, and emergency flood-preparedness tools along with a whisper of encouragement to reduce reliance on fossil fuels and protect their vast forests from climate-driven wildfires.
Finally Santa Claus decided to land on our island with his gift for NCR
Santa Claus, with a twinkle in his eye, will give NCR the ultimate “Official Climate Excuse Generator Deluxe Edition.” This isn’t just any ordinary present, it’s a fully interactive, self-updating booklet, filled with an endless array of plausible explanations for why climate policies never see the light of day. “Boost it on global markets,” “ignore it locally,” “Waiting for international funding”- every excuse you could imagine, all neatly indexed and color-coded for maximum bureaucratic efficiency.
To accompany this, Santa would include a “miniature globe” that spins perpetually, displaying rising temperatures, melting ice caps, and surging sea levels all while emitting a polite, yet constant, reminder: “No emissions reductions detected.” For dramatic flair, the gift also comes with a small golden medal inscribed: “Master of Green Rhetoric, Zero Action”. Perfectly suited for a leader who talks the climate talk but struggles to walk the climate walk.
And what did Santa bring
to the Mauritian people?
For the Mauritian population, Santa Claus might bring a “Reusable Hope Kit”- a tongue-in-cheek gift reflecting the climate promises that rarely see action. It could include “solar-powered umbrellas” to block the rising heat, “miniature mangroves” in jars as a reminder of fragile coastal protections, and “plastic-free shopping bags” to highlight how single-use plastics still dominate daily life and a reminder of the latest blunder regarding single-use plastics. A “Climate Alarm Clock” would ring each time a new fossil fuel project is approved or when promised environmental roadmaps remain unimplemented.
And the most important gift? A mirror, so that our citizens can see their own resilience and creativity, because while political leaders stall, it is the people who face the real consequences of climate change.
And for the rest of the world?
Santa, seeing the planet edging dangerously close to the “too late” column, has something far more precious in his sleigh for the global population: a starter pack of collective courage, climate literacy, and the long-overdue ability to vote, consume, and act like the house is actually on fire. He’s also thrown in a universal pair of “future-proof goggles,” so people can finally see beyond next week’s sales and next elections.
Because while Xi gets a big calculator to count emissions, the rest of us get the tools we need to stop pretending they don’t add up.
Conclusion – “Ho Ho Oh No: Santa’s final warning before the ice runs out”
As Santa wipes the soot off his beard—pollution has gotten everywhere these days—he wonders whether world leaders will ever learn that you can’t negotiate with physics or charm your way out of rising sea levels. He’s handed out his gifts: mirrors for the vain, inflatable ice for the reckless, calculators for the contradictory, and air purifiers for the chronically smogged. But beneath the sarcasm lies Santa’s final message: if global leaders don’t stop treating climate change like a seasonal inconvenience, the North Pole will soon be the North Pool—and Father Christmas will be forced into premature retirement, possibly somewhere in Mauritius, though even that lagoon is warming. So here’s Santa’s verdict: he’ll keep delivering presents, but unless the world changes course, the only thing he won’t be able to deliver anymore is a safe planet. Ho ho… oh no.
Sunil Dowarkasing
