Man is a very strange and curious creature. He always tends to explore everything except himself. Much of his energy is spent exploring the remotest corners of space, yet he may not realise the fact that he is a stranger to himself. He relates to other people and objects, yet never truly to himself.

Yet, unconsciously, man is seeking himself. If a person is attracted to another, it is simply because of what he or she feels in relation to that person. The other brings out whatever is already within, be it a good or a bad feeling. If one feels uncomfortable with the other, there will be repulsion. On the other hand, if it is a pleasant experience, attraction will result.

Whatever the situation, we always tend to focus on the other, that is, on what lies outside us. External relationships can be very strong, either negatively or positively, resulting in intense repulsion or attraction towards external things. Few people have discovered why it is so. Because we believe that the cause of attraction and repulsion lies outside us, we never look inside ourselves. Man is indeed a stranger to himself.

Caught in this mess of attraction and repulsion for a very long time, we have forgotten who we really are. Being complete strangers to ourselves, we remain focused on others and live en rapport with them, whether they are inorganic objects or biological creatures such as human beings and animals. As a result, we do not have a true inner life. What some people call their inner life is mostly shallow and superficial, consisting mainly of fantasies, thoughts, emotions, desires, dreams and the like.

Our relationships with others are ephemeral, egocentric and conflicting, and lead us away from our real self – the God within. What avails a person who relates to thousands of people but never to himself? For most people, relationships with others become an obsession or even a form of slavery. Moreover, man’s relationship with others is not universal because he is selective and choosy.

Relating to other people has such a powerful influence on our being that most people lose their individuality and become mere reflections of others – parents, siblings, celebrities, neighbours, friends and so on. This is reflected in the way people behave, dress and apply their make-up. Many people become products of the desires, emotions and habits of others. Children, for example, often become products of their parents’ wishes. People are as if possessed by the influence of those who are at the forefront of social, religious, political or economic life.

Why are things as they are? Why do people not relate to themselves first, then to others and finally to the whole? The real reason is simply because they do not know what they are. People are body-conscious and the body can relate only to other bodies and objects. Though almost all relationships fail, few people stop to question the reasons behind them.

The secret of all secrets is that man is something infinitely greater and more beautiful than his own body and everything outside him. He is eternal consciousness, ineffable peace and a boundless ocean of joy. He does not need to seek anything else for he already is everything. Relating to oneself is the greatest and eternal love affair, one that leads to supreme liberation and freedom from both joy and sorrow.

The dawn of this relationship does not isolate us from the external world. On the contrary, it enables us to relate to the whole existence without choosing any specific object or person. This is called the cosmic romance – the supreme awakening.

As consciousness, we can not only relate to one another but even merge into one another. Two candles cannot merge, but their lights can become one. Similarly, people who are awakened to their inner reality become one with each other: this is called a soul-to-soul relationship.

Thus, the first and foremost relationship should be with oneself. This will open the door to a cosmic relationship. The first chapter of the education of life should begin with self-relationship or self-knowledge. Hence, the eternal call of the mystics: Know Thyself.

H.H. Swami Paramananda (Dr. (h.c) R. Dassruth)
Email: mystery@globalmindtransformation.org