BHAWNA ATMARAM

In a nearby galaxy to ours lives a vehemently vicious and villainous creature known as Face Hole. Legend says that he was born under the auspices of a great eclipse and was consequently left faceless, save for a big boisterous bombastic hole in lieu of what should have been a mouth. He has an ego the size of our Milky Way Galaxy and instead of rich chocolaty ‘MilkyWay’ goodness coming out of his cakehole, a daily dose of insults is evenly spilled out to whoever unluckily comes across him. Face the music, at your peril!

Face Hole has a massive inferiority complex, as you can gauge. Due to his faceless characteristic, his lifelong obsession lies in finding a new face. His ingenious method consists of making his intended victims cry, so that he could then peel off their faces and stick them to his. Great plan, theoretically. So far, he has been unsuccessful with his own kind. Fed up with his gaping gob defining his existence, he recently decided to be fiercely frontal and teleported himself to planet Earth. Humans would perhaps be less elusive. A real face off, he wondered gleefully.

Soon, he spotted a potential prey. Everyone who saw him instinctively stepped back contemptuously, gearing up for the usual flurry of disparaging remarks. You see, tales about Face Hole had already travelled wide and far across the galaxies. His intended victim was oblivious to his presence, his face stuffed into his newspaper. In a mean, booming voice, Face Hole yanked away the newspaper and bellowed, “Just look at your face!” Everyone held their breath but the man was totally unfazed. He quietly fished out a compact mirror from his pocket and flashed it into Face Hole’s huge hole. The shock was instantaneous. Humiliated till his very core with his own reflection, Face Hole stomped his feet and disappeared from the face of the earth, to everyone’s relief. He had finally lost face!