How did I come up with the idea of writing about love and sacrifice? I discussed this topic with a friend. Love does not only require compromise, we agreed; it also requires sacrifice by both partners.
We can define sacrifice as giving something of value for other considerations. For example, I love my son, so I spend a considerable amount of time, money and energy to make him happy and educate him so he can become a responsible citizen of this world. I need to get up every morning, make breakfast, help him prepare for school, drive him to school, cook, clean, supervise his homework, console him, and reprimand him when he oversteps boundaries. I cannot go out or travel when and where I want because of my son’s school commitments.
Ultimately, I can only do a profession which fits his school schedule, and I had to turn down a job offer recently because it involved teaching in the late evenings. But it does not stop there. We have two cats now because he insisted on it. I recently even bought a dog after months of nagging and the promise that he would become better at school. I knew it would be good for him to develop a sense of responsibility and his urge to show affection to a living creature, even if it restricted my freedom even more.
Sacrifices happen every day when we have children, and I am sure our children are unaware of the many concessions we make for them. They take them for granted in the same way as we continue to make them.
We do not only sacrifice for our children. We also make sacrifices for our parents and relatives. We want them to be happy. Often, we choose a profession to make them proud instead of following our passions. In some countries, people marry the person their parents chose for them to comply with the tradition and culture. I doubt that those culturally determined marriages lead to true happiness for the couple. Even as adults, we may sacrifice – consciously or unconsciously – a lot for our parents: our passion for a particular person, profession, hobby, or yearning to live abroad. By doing so, we often sacrifice our happiness.
Based on those observations, I want to analyse the relationship between love and sacrifice. When is making a sacrifice healthy? When does it become toxic and even has the potential to destroy our hearts and souls? It may be beneficial when we sacrifice something out of pure love for another person. I would suggest, however, that a sacrifice turns toxic if made purely from considerations of society, culture, tradition or simply because we are afraid of what our neighbours might think.
Sacrifices can be beautiful if they are made full of bravery and because we deeply love the person we make that sacrifice for. Even if the concession is small, it can mean a lot. Maybe we do the weekly shopping in the supermarket for our partner, although we do not have to. Perhaps, we cancel a football game that we want to watch with our friends because we want to surprise our spouse with a home-cooked meal. Maybe we care for our partners and give them a massage even if we have a busy day. Perhaps, we buy something nice for them s, even if they have treated us not fantastic that day.
Sacrifices can also be significant. Sometimes, two lovers must leave their family and country because they decided to marry each other instead of the person that had been chosen for them by their parents. In the end, we must be brave to make sacrifices. Sacrifices out of cowardice are no sacrifices. They are only stupid decisions made because of compliance when we are not strong enough to follow our destiny.
A friend’s grandfather was running after my friend’s father with a machete many years ago because my friend’s father wanted to marry that man’s daughter. Luckily, he escaped and did not give up his love for my friend’s mother. Ultimately, the grandfather made a sacrifice by acting against tradition, custom and his belief system. Out of love for his daughter, he agreed for her to marry the man she loved. My friend’s parents, who had to fight for their love, are still happily married, which shows that love and sacrifice very well belong together.