MY PREGNANCY: Little Man’s Conception

    When Little Man’s conception was discovered, it was greeted with shock and disbelief. Such a thing was impossible, it could not be so, all precautions had been taken and yet, he defied all that and became part of the ‘exceptions’ statistic. All the while that he was growing intra uterine, I was still coming to terms with the fact that another Little Person was going to join two other Little Persons who were already there. Since he was not planned, I took a long time to reconcile my state of mind to my physiological changes.
    It seemed to me that Little Man was doing everything he could to make my acceptance of him that little bit harder. I was always tired, sluggish, not to mention irritated all the time. I did consider satisfying a sudden urge of ‘skipping the rope’ but then could not bring myself to do it. When I told that to my nears and dears, I was told not to tell that to everybody, since ‘dimoune ki pou dire’. At that point, I was beyond the point of caring what ‘dimoune’ would say as ‘dimoune’ were not going through what I was going through.
    Anyway, I went along with my pregnancy, having decided to take things as they come all the time secretly hoping that a divine intervention would make my secret wish come true. When the time came for my first scan, I was curious but not overly excited. It was when I saw the tiny being with a strong heartbeat, something started to stir in me; my protective antennae went up. This time, I did want divine intervention but to keep Little Man healthy and normal as the other two Little Persons.
    As Little Man continued to grow, it seemed that he was taking some kind of revenge on me. He was much bigger than his siblings, thus making me feel huge. He also gave me little scares along the way, with not moving for a day and giving me so much pain one time, I had to grace the hospital with my presence for two days. As Little Man’s arrival came near, I was increasingly apprehensive as the thought of coping with three Little Persons is very daunting. By the date of his arrival, I was more than ready to pop, literally, as I felt like a giant balloon.
    When Little Man’s due date cane, I was still apprehensive. The apprehension didn’t leave me even as I walked towards the Operation Theatre for my delivery. During the operation, it seemed that Little Man was not ready to come out without a last fight as he made my blood pressure drop so low, I was constantly being injected to keep me going. As I saw him coming out, I knew, instinctively that Little Man is going to be his own strong-headed person, as he has been right from the start. When he was finally placed in my arms, all apprehensions of not bonding were gone, he was meant to be in my arms. As he was snuggled there, it seemed to me that Little Man and I had finally made peace…for now.
    Similar to myself, there are so many women out there who suffer through the same thing but are told to pretend that everything is fine in the best of worlds, what a hypocritical approach!! We feel what we feel, there is no point in concealing our feelings. Empowerment should start from acknowledging a woman for who she is in her hormonal entirety, and not assuming that because she is pregnant, she is happy.