BHAWNA ATMARAM
The latest? There have been reports of disorderly conduct in the capital city of Dodoland. Why? All because of a most peculiar Sousou, straight from the conflict-ridden Ukraine!
Truth be told, Sousous have practically disappeared from the Dodoland scenery. A favourite staple in a non-too-distant past, the Sousou has recently made an extraordinary leap in the stock market, mercilessly overtaking gold bars and plonking itself comfortably in prime spot. Unsurprisingly, all the Sousous have disappeared overnight into the tummies of Dodolanders, leading to a desolate shortage nationwide. No more Sousous in Dodoland? Impossible!
So, to reassure the good citizens of the country, the local Minister of Altruism, known as Dodo-thong, immediately sprang into action. I must stress here that ‘thongs’ is a common term for flip-flops in Australia. Focus, people! No dirty thoughts! So, to continue, that minister’s local trademark was his bright red thongs. That was the first and last thing people noticed about him. Moving on, Dodo-thong had learnt that there was a last Sousou in Ukraine. He knew how attached Dodolanders were to the Sousou. Imagine how Dodo-thong’s political prospects would be boosted if he could get his hands on that most extraordinary Sousou! There was absolutely no time to waste.
As a wellness ambassador, Dodo-thong brought a mouth-watering delegation of ravishing models to Ukraine to impress the equally good Ukrainian people. However, his bright red thongs were THE great hit, while the slighted models happily splurged on taxpayers’ money in the background. In the matter of a week, Dodo-thong was back in Dodoland, bringing along with him the prized Sousou. Before planning to sell it to the highest bidder to raise some cash, Dodo-thong decided to exhibit it for a few days, in a pay-per-view system. The more money the Sousou could make, the better!
It was only a matter of minutes before the wonderful people flocked to the capital city museum to admire that Sousou from Ukraine. They all sighed profoundly when they saw it. The Sousou had such soft skin. Nothing like the thorny ones they had had before. The Sousou was delicate to the touch, easy on the eyes, exuding an exhilarating scent, with undoubtedly the most tender flesh preciously encased within. It was so beautiful that it was almost heart-breaking. Then, it was time for the bids to start. For such a unique Sousou, things predictably became crazy. Dodo-thong was holding the Sousou in his hands and overseeing the bidding war. Rs 5 million! Rs 15 million! Rs 30 million! Finally, someone from the back shouted Rs 43,9 million! There was a hush! It was Goonda, a notorious fraudster in Dodoland and coincidentally Dodo-thong’s money-launderer. 
Now, at this point, you might want to know that Dodolanders would never want their Sousou to fall into such lowly hands. With rage, they all removed their ‘savattes’ and started beating up Goonda to a pulp. Then, they turned their rage to Dodo-thong. The latter, flanked by his bodyguards, started running for his life, holding the valuable Sousou. Finally, he could bear it no more as his thongs were not made for running. He fell headlong on the ground, crushing the Sousou beneath his weight. Life stopped. Then, the Dodolanders spat on him one by one, as he lay cowering there on the public road. It had dawned on them that eventually, a Sousou will always remain a Sousou despite all the hype. It will be digested to oblivion into the stomach.
And that is how Dodo-thong, the Minister of Altruism, disappeared from the political arena. All because of a scrumptious Sousou from Ukraine.
